Today’s Car Ride Rant yielded a lovely gem:
Emotional ignorance is why emotions make people weak.
See we in this culture have a seriously TRAGIC relationship with emotions and emotionality. Emotions have been deemed “weak” and relegated to the realm of women, who then have to process it all for men in addition to themselves (that’s another post I need to do). Well, except for anger – that’s the one emotion men are allowed to keep. Unfortunately, this means that “when all you have is hammer, every problem looks like a nail” becomes entirely too true.
This deficit on both sides of the emotional divide is actually what is crippling – not the emotions in and of themselves.
What I mean by this is that without emotional intelligence, without emotional education, without the ability to work WITH our own emotional state on a conscious and active level, then emotions do indeed become our enemy. Unfortunately for that short-sighted “emotions make you weak” mindset, emotions are at the core of what it means to be a mammal – and all the “human” stuff is built on top of this.
So by culturally choosing to remain ignorant of the power and effect and reality of our OWN emotions, they get cast aside and then when they finally do overpower the guard trying to keep them “manageable” and then run rampant in our system … yes. That’s crippling.
But I’ve been spending an increasing amount of time in the company of people who are emotionally intelligent, emotionally whole, and unabashedly fine with owning their own emotions. And guess what? They stop being held hostage by those emotions! In fact, those emotions then become the bedrock which keeps everything stable and aligned, allowing for a more effective individual. What a difference!!
I’ve LONG said that when it comes to dreaming, “if I listen to the whispers, I won’t have to hear the screaming.” Well, it’s not surprising at all to recognize this applies to our emotions as well.
Emotional intelligence is, I’m starting to discover, a far greater tool and ally than I imagined possible.