Personal Growth, Rant

An ignorant population is an enslaved population

An ignorant population is an enslaved population. Attacks on education are a demand for enslavement, for disempowerment, for abdication of personal responsibility … for sheeple who go where they are told, when they are told, how they are told. It’s the perfect way to control a populace – because a free mind is the most dangerous mind to those who seek to control others. Without the ability to think something, the ability to do something is limited.

Every boom in prosperity and growth is accompanied by the rise and proliferation of quality education, and every decline and “dark age” is accompanied by the rise of ignorance.  Most rulers who were ever called The Great (ie Alexander the Great) or had the biggest impact on succeeding generations (ie Charlemagne) included a focus on education.

<tangent>I hear the specious argument that women don’t need to be educated and my first thought is “only slaves are deliberately not educated because educating them means they might not think you are worth serving. Clearly, you want slaves but aren’t big enough to actually say this out loud.”</tangent>

Emotions, Personal Growth, Rant

Using Telepathy Instead of Words

Have you ever been in a situation where you told someone something would be ok when you knew as the words were coming out of your mouth that indeed it would NOT be ok?

How about heard or even said the words: “You should have just known!” or the dreaded “If you really loved me, you would have known that already.” Or the ever funny “I shouldn’t have HAD to tell you I wouldn’t like X.”


Personally, these words have never crossed my mind with any degree of earnestness but I have known people who use them like freakin’ hand grenades. I’ve also never been on the receiving end because guys are generally pretty up front with “yeah, not cool with that” rather than the passive-aggressive approach employed by some women I’ve known. (Granted, I’m SURE there are plenty of men who use this tactic so don’t get knackered, I just haven’t encountered them.)

I was reading a blog post and the writer said something akin to this:

Sure, I said “okay” at the time, but what I really hoped for was that you would telepathically divine my thoughts and instead of saying “good, I’ll do that” you would actually say: “hrm, I’m getting the sense that you’re not really okay with this. So I’m gonna do something to fix that part that I have magically determined that you’re not okay with. Then I’ll just deal with it for you so you won’t have to say or do anything uncomfortable.”

Just reading this sparked this entire little post because I could literally hear the real statement from these words and I wanted to put it out there.

See, this passive-aggressive thought process goes back to the previous post I did on responsibility for our own happiness and about being a whole, independent, autonomous person. Now let me take those words above and put them into my language. This is what I hear being said by the subconscious mind behind the words being given:

“I don’t want to own that I have a problem with whatever this is, so I’m going to silently and without warning give the onus of not only perceiving that I have a problem but also the resolution for this problem over to you, so that I don’t have to deal with it. And when you fail, because you can’t read my mind and so you will, then I’ll get to punish you for failing to magically notice that I lied to you to your face and you were stupid enough to actually trust me. This way, I get to maintain the power dynamic in our relationship because after I get upset then you will go into ‘solve the problem’ mode and come to my rescue.”

Yeah. Really not a fan of this. If I have a problem with something and then say “sure” … the problem is fucking MINE and I will damn well deal with the aftermath. It doesn’t get trotted out later, because I SAID sure. No take backs. Be an adult here. This whole “you should have known” bullshit is just that. BULLSHIT. And it’s a deliberate emotional manipulation tactic of the lowest order. Maybe not conscious, but deliberate. Call people on that shit!

My husband’s ex-wife apparently loved to do this to him. So much so that it’s a joke for us. But I told him if I EVER did that to him, his response needs to be “And if you loved me, you would have had the courage to talk about this issue before it happened.” Like I said, call people on that shit. Doesn’t need to be nasty, but it does need to be clear so that “I see what you are trying to do, and it’s not going to work” gets conveyed.



About the Featured Image: I found it on Pinterest but I don’t know the source. If you know it, let me know and I’ll cite it. It’s a scene from “Star Ship Troopers” where the queen bug injects a probe into the brain of the captive and sucks his skull hollow. This is pretty much what I imagine the emotional impact of that “you should have known” statement has on the recipient of it.

Personal Growth, Rant, Spirituality

Questions – Opening the Door of Transformation

Happy New Year everyone on the Gregorian calendar system!

I have a feeling 2017 will make 2016 look like a cake walk, but that’s generally how it goes with transformation. It’s really uncomfortable. I also think this will be a year of growth, and hopefully the Light Bearers will be up to the task! No hiding allowed (says the anonymous PotI).

I said in a recent post that we are on our way to becoming fully aware of the Truth that All Is One, and that it was one of those energetic waves that could not be stopped. I’m going to build on a tiny piece of the concept of All Is One and the role of the Light Bearers.

By Light Bearers, I’m referring to any and everybody out there who is asking the tough questions like “who are we now and who do we want to be?”, “what do we truly value?”, “what is our shadow?” etc. These are questions that invoke transformation, questions that get the soul engaged, questions even that get the ego engaged or enraged, sometimes both. But these questions open doors and create a ripple effect. Because I know that All Is One, I also know that these ripples will ultimately reach the farthest corners. Now “timeline” is another component, and based on human history it often takes between 75 and 200 years for questions to become statements, so we’re on a beyond-my-lifetime timeline for all of this.

For our family new years, we decided to do a tarot reading. The overwhelming theme that came up over and over again for everyone in my family was Pentacles — the earthly results, that which is valued. Interestingly, I had been musing on how to recognize my true needs from those which had been given to me, and how to go about fixing this. The readings prompted me to mention this, and mention that this was also true of my values. Today, another family member asked a question which led to a discussion on owning successes but quickly delved deeper to realizing that we celebrate what we value, and how to identify internal versus external values.

I was chuckling to myself because this was a conversational ripple which was sparked by my statement the previous night about values and needs. Now which one came first is completely immaterial, but that the same questions are being asked from different people in the same household got me to thinking about the Light Bearers and their job.

One of the statements that I made is that we as a culture in the US need to start figuring out Who We Are, and What We Value. Right now, we are indeed the Divided States of American and honey, our motto is “united we stand” but the “divided we fall” is part of the mindset. We are not united, because we’ve lost touch with the Age of Enlightenment vision that our founders were so strongly moved by that they went to war over them. What is our Vision of who we are right now? Unfortunately, for many it’s stuff based and ironically that isn’t real. I was pissed when I started hearing that the American dream was owning a home, because that was a perversion of the true dream. Alas, it kept sliding downhill until the “dream” was perverted to the point of having the stuff you want. What a shit vision!!! With no basis in Soul at all.

I guess that was a bit of an off-topic rant there, sorry. My point is that for every question, for every observation, or every individual willing to hold the door for transformation (which is what a question does), the more the collective begins to ripple.


Who Are We as a people?


About the featured image: Ironically, it’s business and marketing which are delving most into values and how they influence things, but they are doing it from the “how to sell more stuff” perspective. A soul question living in the ego realm. Hrm.


All Is One – Here We Come

I like to imagine that my capacity to see the world symbolically is growing. To see the symbolic actions means the individuals are less important while the overall trend becomes clearer.

That said, I really wish I’d had this insight sooner but things happen as they do. This is about the election process in the US this past year. Now to frame things a bit, remember that we’ve collectively seen MASSIVE changes in the last 20 years. Globally impactful massive changes, and being able to rub virtual elbows with people of other cultures is just the icing on the cake. In general, people tend to fear change even if they think they want it.

So this past election we had three candidates, and they represented the three main choices to any situation that a body is capable of making. One says “go forward, we haven’t gone far enough yet. Embrace the change and push for more”. Feel the Bern as we stretch into new ways of being and relating. Another says “Nah, we’re good as we are. Stay the course.” So yeah, let’s just keep on keeping on, like always. In other words, status quo for the win. The final one said “fuck no, let’s go back in time to the Idyllic Old Days when everything was perfect and while we’re at it we’re gonna shut everyone else out, so it’s just us. Rah. Rah. Rah.” And that’s the fear response to change which idealizes some historical time – usually childhood – when everything was ‘perfect’.

What happened was that through chicanery and fraud, the status quo shut down the forward momentum crowd. “None of that now, we need to preserve what we have without backsliding.” Now the competition for the hearts and minds of the populace is Status Quo and Fear. Hrm. It was a close race, and while 50% of the voting populace was so disinterested, disgusted or disheartened in either choice they decided to abstain, the other 50% were pretty much evenly divided. 25% said “Keep on keepin’ on” and the other 25% said “circle the wagons and shoot anyone who doesn’t look like us”.

Interesting. What’s truly fascinating is that the public face for the option which was declared the winner really doesn’t give a shit. He couldn’t care less about “the people” or even “America”, as long as his interests are served and he’s seen as the Winner … well. That’s about it. Perfect! He’s the “successful business man” archetype, the bully which pretends to be the hero. Fascinating! I personally highly doubt he will ever actually sit as President, and I honestly believe he doesn’t WANT to. What does that leave us with? Pence. *full body shudder* Now this guy is an ISIS mentality all the way, so he’s essentially fear on crack. He’s also a theocrat, which is a complete rejection of everything America ever tried to stand for.

Right now we have a great deal of finger pointing, blame throwing, underhanded tactics and plain ol’ human jackassery from all camps but I’m looking primarily at the leaders of each camp. Only one has continually said “that’s not the issue, this is” and proceeds to remain on point no matter what the other sides are attempting to toss around. Only one will not be distracted by the “oh shiny” and remains committed to a real vision. Oh hell, only one of them actually HAS a Vision. I do believe that if the Status Quo had not interfered to protect their power base, that “forward” option would have been the resounding choice. Instead, we were forced to pick between same-old-same-old and a false message of change – false in that the way to greatness is NEVER backwards and NEVER through ignorance. True greatness is about courage, not fear. Through bully and bullshit, obfuscation ruled.

As a student of history, I can tell you that when a new energy is coming in like we’ve seen for the past … oh, century, you CANNOT stop it. For example, when the first volleys which eventually became the Reformation in Europe began, it was roughly 100 years before Luther tacked his revisions to the door. By the time it came to the surface of the Establishment’s awareness enough TO react, the ball was well and truly rolling. There are examples like this all over history in all cultures. Our own American Revolution was founded on ideals which were espoused a century before. Again as a student of history and the human soul, I can tell you that on this front of becoming One World, the ball is rolling. And rolling fast. You can be Indiana Jones trying to outrun it, or figure out how to channel it so that it does the most good while there is still time to make course corrections. The fear reaction will bring nothing but pain and misery, as some of the rest of the world is clearly illustrating.

My parents voted in a direction that I was surprised by, but I also understand their reasons, their emotional position. They are NOT wrong, nor right. Ditto for ANY other position, but there is a path to be navigated. Currently, we as a globe are collectively facing a serious challenge. One that will shape our world for literally centuries to come. It’s not a fight that can be sat out, though a distressing number of people are indeed going right back to sleep. As I told someone once, this is the most important single fight we’ve had in many generations. So – what do you choose?

Embrace and move forward with the current?
Same shit, different day?
Or reject the direction entirely and swim upstream?

Personal Growth, Rant, Spirituality

The Test is Simple

I have what I have discovered is a relatively unique perspective of the Divine.

Bear in mind, I did not grow up in a religious household. Rather, I grew up in a family fractured and damaged by religious convictions that spanned three generations I know about. From my mother’s father’s mother (catch that?) calling her own grandchildren bastards because she refused to recognize the marriage of her son to my grandmother, to my father’s father’s mother’s (catch that?) outright ostracizing my father from the family because he didn’t marry in the church she approved of. Not that I mind that last part… heh. But yes, a lot of anger and hatred and hurt caused by religion. It’s little wonder that I began to violently reject it in all its forms as a young teen. It took me about 30 years to work through most of that ancestral shit and now I can see that religion does offer many positives as well. Unfortunately, it’s the abuses and the negatives that are screaming right now.

Despite this, I consider myself very spiritual in terms of seeking personal contact with Divine in whatever form I’m capable of handling it. I know from first hand experience that the Divine will seek me on whatever level and in whatever form I’m capable of handling at the moment — provided that my heart is open! Not even the Divine can reach a closed heart – because a closed heart will refuse to hear. As a result of this search and experiences in addition to my own soul perspectives, I have some ideas that leave me baffled when others use Divine as an excuse for hatred, disempowerment and oppression.

One is about perspective. Of those Gods who are also THE CREATOR of it all, this is a being who is supposed to be omniscient and omnipotent. If this God sees everything, and can do everything, exactly why are we here? The idea that we were made to worship these creators strikes me as … small. I think: Really? *raised eyebrow* A god that big and powerful needs me to sing praises for the duration of my life? *blinks* *thinks of Stargate: SG1’s season with the Ori* I’ll be blunt here: the Divine is not that Narcissistic. In fact, I would pretty much expect that a creator capable of making this entire multiverse with all the dimensions and potentials and lives and intricacies… Yeah, I expect a much bigger reason than that.

I hear my family saying “god hates this” or “god hates that” and I have to bite my tongue to keep from saying “No, YOU hate this and that, and are using god as an excuse to justify it.” THAT would not go over well at family reunions, let me tell you. Me to my family: if the god that you believe created everything also created the thing you hate, I’m going to assume that – given just how all-seeing this creator is – there is a purpose, a reason, for that thing you hate to be here. Personally, I trust in the Divine’s vision to know more than I do. Just because I can’t wrap my head around something doesn’t mean that the Divine can’t either. Hell, I have difficulty thinking from an Executive’s perspective, and most people have no clue there even IS such a thing. If I have difficulty with that, who the heck am I to proclaim anything of creation as being something god hates??

So yes, I think the Divine has a degree of perspective so far beyond what I’m capable of seeing and understanding that it’s my default setting to accept the diversity of humanity and life in general as being intentional and purposeful. Even if or when I can not for the life of me see it.

The other idea that has persisted since I was little is that the Divine asks us to be more than we think we are. I have long said:

The test is simple. Given any choice, the one that challenges me to grow and become more than I think I’m capable of … that is the one that the Divine is hoping I’ll take.

Back to my family’s “god hates this…” stuff. I keep thinking: the test is simple. Is hating that thing challenging me to grow beyond what I believe myself capable of? Or it is giving me permission to remain small, insular and isolated? If the answer is the latter, than the statement is not of the goodly Divine origin — and I don’t give a shit where that statement is dredged up from. The stamp of “source material” does not automatically mean any statement is above reproach. Apply the test. Empowerment, unity and growth? Or disempowerment, division and destruction/stagnation? If the first, guess who’s saying it? If the latter, guess which OTHER one is saying it?

Today I was thinking about all of this and something came out of my mouth that brought me up short.

If this God sees everything, and can do everything, exactly why are we here? Divine created humans with our capacity to grow and explore and create for a reason. With our capacity to understand and question creation itself for a reason. Right now we’re collectively being confronted with both choices in the test – empower or disempower. Grow or be stunted. Right now, we’re being tested on a global scale because the internet has made it painfully clear We are One, even as We are Many. Divine did not create humanity to bow and scrape and fawn over the majesty of it or to slaughter anyone who isn’t bowing and scraping appropriately. It created humanity with the hope that maybe someday we’d be courageous enough to be worthy companions.


About the Featured Image: A now-famous picture and story in which the matador realized the bull was not fighting back, and instead of being the hero as he expected he was instead the villain, torturing this animal. In short, he had an attack of pure humanity.

Hall of Mirrors, Personal Growth, Rant

Dreams and Illusions

I’m on way home from the gym, damn near bursting with new ideas or insights that I wanted to explore here. Damn if I can remember a single one of them now. *sigh*

Dream recall isn’t going so well. Mainly because I’m not trying as hard as I should be, and the moment I use “should” … that’s a red flag. It’s a clearly visible red flashing neon sign that says “My heart isn’t in this, but my head thinks it runs the show and won’t listen to me.”

Armed with this awareness, I ask myself “So why isn’t my heart into remembering my dreams like I used to be?” The answer is there, a quiet little murmur which admits “I don’t like the messages.” Well. You know what? Tough titties. The fact that I don’t like the messages, that I’d rather stick my metaphorical fingers in my ears and chant lalalala while pretending that I never got said messages, that’s a cop out and it means those messages are vital and need to be heard.

Note that “hearing” something is NOT the same thing as “doing” something. I can say “yeah, yeah, I hear you, message received. Still ain’t doin’ nuthin’ about it right now. Sit tight.” To which the dream self can raise an eyebrow and then start upping the ante OR give a nod and return to business as usual, knowing that honestly the message was actively received.

Maybe I think if I can pretend I didn’t get them, then I can pretend that the dream self will definitely continue to be relatively benign about the messages. heh. More fool, me.

Today, for example. I woke up remembering very clearly two distinct dreams, both of which were a little on the disturbing side. Rather than write them down or review them, I actively said “I’ll check my Township” and then “I’ll check my Facebook” and “oh, look, now I need to get a shower” and after the shower, shucky darn, I ‘forgot’ those pesky disturbing dreams. *phew*

Dream self, she is not amused.

At least I’m getting better about honestly recognizing these moments, catching my own emotional run-arounds of avoidance. I’m really good at those.

What’s truly fascinating is that this insight into myself has allowed me to see some of the people geographically closest to me in a different light as well. Hubby was talking about being secure in the knowledge that the house was being well looked after now that I’m not the one doing it anymore, to which I raise an eyebrow but say nothing. I’m thinking “are you fuckin’ blind?? Do you not look above eye level? Nothing above eye level has been dusted in months. Have you tried touching your piano? It’s so covered in wax that I know for a fact that it’s being dusted with polish. And don’t get me started on the vacuum which is literally so full that it can’t hold any more and yet continues to be used.” This is when it hit me. He’s in a fantasy world, and he’s enjoying the fantasy. As long as the fantasy is active, he can literally overlook all of this stuff.

That got me to thinking about our relationship and I realized that is what had been bothering me – I had been enmeshed in his fantasy vision of the world. And he’s so angry at me now because I shattered the fantasy by proving to be merely human. Once an illusion is shattered, that’s it. Game over. So he’s got the “perfect relationship” on one side, which has me in stitches because I can see exactly the freight train bearing down the tracks while he’s skipping around thinking it’s a lovely meadow. On the other hand he’s got “the albatross who does nothing but weight him down and take his money” which has me agog because, again, I can see the reality and I’m not bothering to enlighten him. I am left in a quandary because in some respects, this man’s insight and acumen is genius — unless he’s emotionally attached. Then his vision is clouded with how he wants it to be, rather than how it is.

Damn. Of course, given any new insight I must first check in with myself. “Is this a projection? Is this actually my own shit that I’m throwing off onto someone else so that I don’t have to carry it?” This means pulling out my Hall of Mirrors checklist.

Is there a strong emotional reaction to the idea as it has been presented? *thinks* No. I’m not angry or accusatory, or enamored. It’s just an observation based on over a decade of association. I’m more surprised and disappointed with myself that I didn’t recognize it sooner.

Well. No more questions needed. This perspective does not appear to be a projection. You may proceed.

Ok. What now? How can I broach this topic? People generally don’t like their illusions shattered. Oh shit, especially when those illusions are what enables function. How … dysfunctional. Wow. So if I try to “free” him from the illusions, I suspect he’s just going to be even angrier at me. He’s already angry because our illusion shattered – from his perspective. I’ve seen him, warts and all, all along … ok, except for the illusion vision. That I didn’t have a name for but I felt something was off.

By now I’m totally rambling, and I still can’t remember the specific thoughts I had in the car on the way home tonight. *sigh* I’m sure they were awesome. *LOL*

I don’t want to remember my dreams because they might reveal something which will shatter my illusions.

*walks away laughing*

Villian Sephiroth in Final Fantasy VII
Hall of Mirrors, Personal Growth, Rant, Spirituality

It’s All About Me…

I’ve read a variety of authors in the various spiritual fields that I have dabbled. I recall very clearly reading “Songs of the Arcturians” – a channeled work – and being increasingly unsettled as they got more in-depth with their description of the Earth moving into the 4th Dimension and what they called the Harvest. Finally, it hit me. I literally blurted out loud “Are you talking about the Rapture??! Where those ‘enlightened’ and ‘chosen’ souls are transformed into energy and taken into wherever while all the rest of the poor slobs are left behind? That’s your Harvest??” Knowing the history of the idea for the Rapture, I now knew exactly who was talking to the preacher and how they’ve restyled themselves for this audience – using aliens instead of angels to gain an audience for their fear mongering. What a load of shit.

So yes, I read all kinds of things but I do so with a combination of an open mind and a yard stick to measure just how much sense is being made. I am a very critical thinker, and the first test is “does this make sense?” followed by “does this empower or disempower?” By and large, most channeled entities are not particularly worth the read. Neale Donald Walsch is one of the good ones. Ramtha? Not so much. Ruth Montgomery? Ok. Seth? Holy shit, that rocked my world and still does every time I re-read it.

I’m rereading it now, but I’m doing so aloud and recording it. I’m not the best reader, so I stumble and yawn but I’m doing it so I can play back the chapters while I sleep. I shared them with a friend, but really, I’m a crappy reader so it wouldn’t surprise me at all if I got a “yeaaaaah, you can stop sharing them now”. Tonight’s chapter was 6 – The Soul and the Nature of Its Perception.

Now I’ve long held the idea that I am my soul, and my soul is me, but the soul is much larger than the me. Like my liver is part of me but the liver is not the sum of me. The idea that we can “lose” or “barter away” our souls, even as a kid, had me raising my eyebrows. “What, is your soul a sock?” Even so, I was even more of a social pariah by rejecting the notion that my soul needed to be ‘saved’ or ‘redeemed’. It’s not a poker chip! Cashing it in for some reward is utterly ludicrous to me. For the life of me, I simply fail to grasp the concepts associated with the thinking that supports these ideas — and this is my freakin’ family. I just … I don’t get it. It makes no sense, and yet I understand that folks are where they are. *sigh* But I digress.

Tonight’s reading had me running across a phrase which immediately led me down a rabbit hole – even if it was a review. It’s a good review. Here’s the quote:

…the thought creates the reality. Then the creator of the thought (me) perceives the object (created), and (I) do not understand the connection between (me) and this seemingly separate thing.

Bam! Here is the first three sephiroth, the yin yang, the Word. I view reality as being quite essentially simple:

The Me.
The Not-Me.
The Relationship Between Them.

That’s it. That what reality distills down in to for me. That which I-Am interacts with that which I PERCEIVE as being I-Am-Not, and how do I feel about that, do with that, not do with that, etc.

In ultimate reality, there is only I-Am, but in order to experience myself there MUST be something that I am not – and so artificial division begins. I have attempted many times to express this, but usually get blank stares or “do you have to get your hair cut in heaven” level of “I am clueless” questions.

I see the world tearing itself apart over false divisions and on one level, I do not understand. If I’m in the headspace where the yin-yang is indeed manifestation, then I am flummoxed. All I see is the right hand trying to chop off the left – lunacy. But if I’m in the everyday world headspace where the Not-Me far outweighs the Me, then I understand very well but I am sad. It means that too few understand, truly “get it”, and we are carving out necessary organs while screaming “evil” at our livers, hearts, lungs… believing in our own righteousness.


About the Featured Image: It’s from a video game called Final Fantasy VII, this image being created by I believe Darkskyx and shared on (link is in the alt-tag). I chose this because (1) I love villains and (2) it’s a freakin’ ass cool image but also because of the imagery of the dark winged angel and the use of Sephiroth as his name. It ties a lot of individual themes together for me and relates to the content of this post in that way.