I went to Peru 2 years ago. It was about a week before I left that I first heard of ayahuasca – though it was not meant to be for that trip, I cataloged the information and then waited.
It was my QHHT practitioner that was able to connect me with an ayahuasca shaman and I didn’t have to go to South America – woot! I just got back from a weekend ceremony and wanted to record my thoughts.
First off, I will say that my experience was nothing like what everyone else in my group was reporting. At all.
I’ve done a round of ketamine so that I would know what my brain on chemicals would do. The experience was interesting, but overall it was a lot of pretty colors and some interesting reminders of things I already knew, but nothing really exciting. I was sort of expecting the same type of light show. Nope. The first pour, after about 45 minutes when it hit my system, yes, I saw some things.
This is an AI generated art, and for the life of me the thing could not really translate what I was attempting to describe but this image ended up being marginally close. The first thing I saw as I was laying there, I looked down at my own torso to see that it was now open. An open cavity instead of a rib cage. The entire thing was lined with all these tiny blocks, each of which had double lines on them. As I watched, 4 little beings – one after the other – climbed down into the open cavity. Each was carrying a set of oddly shaped blocks which also had the double lines on them. As I watched this scene with a bit of bemusement, I realized that ayahuasca was adding additional codes into my form. I later realized the blocks were cells, and the double lines were DNA strands.
After that, the images faded and I was left to just enjoy the sound of the music. I mentally sang along, enjoying being in the moment. Every now and again, I would feel ancestral issues start to unravel and by the end of that first evening I was able to see and release the masculine and feminine wounding that ran through my family. I came out from the experience with the saying:
When the Container becomes a Cage;
The Haven becomes a Prison.
I knew that the Container was the masculine, as described by Teal Swan. But when he’s wounded, he forgets how to be a container and instead creates a cage. The haven is where the feminine resides in happy safety, protected and yet still free to be, but when that space is now a prison that is not something she can tolerate for long. This is the feminine wound because now, once she’s escaped the prison, she tries to create her own container for herself, but she cannot. And round and round it goes.
There was one point in that first evening, after the second pour, I could hear people starting to purge and yet I felt fine. I mentally asked the question of essentially “am I doing this right?” and the answer I got was a visual of a parched desert in which the sands were soaking up the water almost instantly. Later, right at the end of the evening, I definitely purged, so there is that.
The second night of ceremony … nothing. Definitely feeling the effects, but no visuals, no insights … just enjoying the music and being in the moment. At the very end of that second evening, I asked “what was the point of this?” because it seemed as if my work with ayahuasca was nothing particularly interesting. The visual I got in response to this query started out in a dark room, and then there is a blue/white light shining up from underneath me. I look down in surprise. I know this represents a soul connection, and that the plant medicine was working below the conscious mind to increase the pathways between soul and ego.
That was it. While everyone else had ego shattering journeys, or emotional epiphanies that had them crying with joy as they shared them… I got some ancestral healing, some new codes, and a lot of time singing and just enjoying the moment.
I will not be making any more ayahuasca journeys, but I can definitely see the value of it! Those for whom it worked, it transformed their life. That’s not small.
I was musing on the overall very positive experiences both with ketamine and Ayahuasca, and realized … I’ve done a hell of a lot of work on emotional intelligence, unearthing my own repressed crap, owning myself, and letting stuff go which does not serve me. I also tend to live in the moment, am not prone to fear or anxiety or worry, and have faith that I can handle whatever comes my way. I know that I am much larger than this body, and that no label can ever contain even a fraction of who I am really am. I think that the overall positive but not particularly insightful experiences with both of these is a reflection of where I am, and that I’ve done a lot more healing than I ever imagined.
I believe it’s time to stop focusing on ‘healing’, and move forward. Now. What does that mean?
I had a second QHHT session not too long ago. This time, rather than past lives like the first one, I wanted to focus a bit more on ancestral healing. See what I could learn on that front. One of the questions was:
If I don’t have children, what is the benefit of doing the work of healing ancestral wounds?
I know my mom did a lot of work to stop the family cycle of abuse, and she succeeded. But there are other lines of thinking which need to be addressed. While the knowledge that I don’t have children wasn’t going to stop me on this work, I had been wondering about how useful it was to the Human Condition.
The answer that came out of my mouth was:
For every type of healing, that is a new Template laid down. A new Template for a path to wholeness that another Human in this grand experiment could leverage. The more people do this, the more templates there are floating around out there, the easier and faster it comes. Like the first person to break the 4-minute mile opened the door that previously was thought impossible.
My dad, being the practical engineer that he is, once told me that the more minds we have working on a problem, the faster that problem will be solved. I think the same thing applies to these healing templates that I spoke about.
What really had me sitting up to pay attention to this answer? One of my favorite wise curmudgeons, Paul Selig, had a 5 day workshop. The theme? The introduction of Higher Templates. The actual workshop was called The Truth of Being, and in that he spoke of these new templates. In his case, he was talking about a new template for our being but I tend to think healing comes first — opening the door to higher potentials.
After all, the original meaning for health is ‘whole’ – from the Old English hælþ “wholeness, a being whole, sound or well.” Bear in mind, that wealth is not far removed in meaning. Old English wela meaning “wealth,” but also “welfare, well-being,”
They were talking about Karma briefly and my brain spun off. I was meandering through my idea of Karma which is that it’s attachments – the things we can’t let go of. This could be a regret, a sense of superiority, a sense of inferiority, anger, love, even a substance. Anything which we cannot let go of becomes essentially an energetic wad of gum that we have to work at in order to remove.
Heh. Karma is a wad of gum. Funny.
Overlaid on this was a discussion I had the other day about triggers being emotional wounds. To explain:
Imagine someone reaches out and tugs on your arm. Now your arm is fine, but the person has your attention. Nothing major about this. Now imagine that your arm is wounded – perhaps it’s newly broken or has a massive open wound on it. In this case, when someone reaches out to touch your arm the reaction will be wildly different. Perhaps it’s in anticipation of pain so you don’t let them get close to touching you, or mayhap you yell at them and call them names, shove their hand off your arm with force, or maybe even you attack them in defense of your wound.
These are typical ways that people will react when a wound is touched or in danger. That is exactly what a trigger is. It’s an emotional wound that someone’s words or actions has incited a response for. Usually though, if the wound is surface enough to the conscious mind that it gets such a reaction, it’s also ready for release.
As I thought about the wad of gum concept, and then considered the emotional wound, I began to wonder if these concepts were actually related. As in, an emotional wound which is not healed before leaving this density becomes an energetic wad of gum.
I hear some folks talk about coming back with the same people to work through Karmic issues. That one doesn’t resonate with me. Say person L wounds me, and I elect to nurse that grudge until I die with it as an active wound. Now it’s a wad of gum stuck to the soul, metaphorically speaking obviously. Back on the soul level I get to consider what types of things would be needed before the ego self will elect to remove the wad of gum – aka release the attachment to the wound. Do I really need person L to work with me again on this? No, not at all. Perhaps person L has experienced all that they choose to on that front. But there are a heck of a lot of other souls who might be exploring similar themes and can take on the role that I need.
So Karma is a wad of gum, and an emotional wound which is not released within a lifetime becomes a wad of gum.
I was listening to Paul Selig‘s YouTube channel video called A Line in the Sand. In it, (and I’ll paraphrase broadly) he talks about our boundaries being like lines in the sand – they are arbitrary based on our perspectives and ideas of our past, but aren’t really reflective of true reality. That we are currently in the process of undergoing a re-drawing of those lines in the sand because our perspective of what is possible, and who we truly are, is also changing.
Paul, through the Guides, asks how can we support this redrawing when our entire history tells us X isn’t possible, or that Y has always failed. To which the Guides begin to answer.
As they did, I got flooded with information as well. Stories. Our imagination is the guide which allows us to see potentials that are completely new, paradigm shifting, and allow us to experience and explore ideas that are utterly without precedent.
Star Trek, for example, was a trailblazer is so many ways! The original broke through so many stereotypes and remade the world as it was then. Star Trek: Next Generation continued that path, opening the door to new technologies such as MP3 and virtual reality. So many things owe their existence to the inspiration that Star Trek provided. Even better, it has given us the idea that humanity can work together for the common good, and in so doing launch us into the stars. It has given us the template for the idea that money, while a useful medium for exchange, is limited and small. It’s based on the idea of lack, and the world of Star Trek has moved so far beyond that that the idea of Lack is just not present. Indeed, The Orville has a similar take that money is passé.
Additionally, how many times have you been listening to something and the bridge that it makes it possible to understand is actually a story reference?
So how can we as people help open the door for drawing these new lines in the sand? How can we as individuals help our family grow beyond the anger and fear which rules so much of us right now?
Stories. Open our imaginations and let the universe speak potentials through us. Release those stories into the world and let them inspire others, let others build on them and create even more potentials that inspire. Our imaginations are the most powerful creative force in this 3D realm – because what we imagine comes first in the entire process of ‘manifestation.’
Open that door, and let Source know “I am an open channel – help me see what we have yet to learn, so that these new stories can help guide us into a more expansive existence.”
Logic will get you from A to Z; imagination will get you everywhere.
I had my second QHHT session on Sunday. I wanted to focus on healing ancestral stuff this time, since last time I had a few past lives come to the surface. We go into the session, and she asks me what I see. There is a brightly lit void and I see myself standing there in the position of the vitruvian man. She asks if I can go anywhere and the response was “It’s a void. Go wherever you wish, the view is unchanged.” lol. No matter what she tried, the focus was clear – there is nowhere to go but in.
She asked me to scan my body and where did my attention focus. Interestingly, the very first thing I felt was literally my own heart beat. It took a while to identify the source of the mild rocking, but eventually I realized “that’s my own heart beating!” There was nothing specific to this particular observation, just that it was central and immediate and obvious. I wore a rose quartz pendant and brought along a large clear quartz “ally” to help amplify the rose quartz – both specifically to engage the heart chakra, and while it was never expressed, perhaps it worked?
But the first area that snagged my attention was my uterus. It felt like all this energy was definitely present, just … going round and round and unable to go further. My description is that “the energy is in knots”. She tried to get me to understand what created those knots, but the answer was “unimportant to the current objective”. I refused to answer and the awareness was not present. Suddenly I started laughing and saying “like Khipu!” – the Incan knot language which was “an intricate system of colourful strings and knots, with each colour and knot telling a different story.” Not only used for accounting, but they do in fact record stories.
The story below is my way of working with the energy and awareness raised by this section of the session. The most interesting part? Here may be a bit TMI, but I actually started a period 3 days after this session – and I’ve been menopausal for 2+ years now. So DEFINITELY something is going on!
Sitting at a table covered with a giant series of tied knots, dexterity and perseverance are the best skills needed to remove these.
“Hey, I recognize that string of knots.”
Glancing up briefly, I just nod while pushing and tugging at one of the knots. “They are call Khipu, the written records of the Inca.”
“Um. Why are you untying them then?”
I pause, hands going still for a moment as I ponder this. Understanding dawns, and I begin again to work at unraveling these old records while speaking. “Because in this instance, the message from the past is not helpful to the future. In fact, all these knots are a karmic tie to events and emotional reactions which are being carried forward for resolution. However, the specific stories and instances these tell of are no longer relevant if we as a people are to expand and grow. So untying the knots to release the story is a way of clearly signaling that I release this hurt, cut this karmic tie, and let the energy once again flow.”
“So are the stories being unraveled specifically Incan?”
Shaking my head a few times, the reply is quick. “No, not at all. But in terms of a metaphor, Khipu are brilliant! So I’ll untie these knots, and with every tug and bit unraveled, more and more of the pain and attachment that has come down to me through my family line is being released.”
“If it’s just a metaphor, how will you know anything is actually happening?”
I smile, recognizing from a lifetime of experience the minor cramps which are now just starting. “Oh, I’ll know. The knots being untied right now are metaphorical, but the fibroids they represent are 100% physical. They are a physical manifestation of the ancestral baggage that has to be let go. Hence, untying the knots.”
“But I thought that in order to let something go, it had to be understood?”
A small shrug, still focusing on the work. “Maybe before – but things are changing. I don’t need to understand how or why the feminine energy of my ancestors was tied into knots. All that is relevant to me, now, is that it IS. Dredging up the stories seems to actually be perpetuating the pain, renewing the anger, and reaffirming the karmic attachment. I have no interest in this process, my focus is on healing and expansion. If my work, small as it is, can help someone else release the story and focus on the healing, excellent. If not, I’ll just keeping doing what I can.”
“Huh. Never considered that before.”
“What part?”
“That knowing the story can actually do more harm than good. That our ego-self can latch onto the story and use it as an excuse to further play victim and expect others to solve the problem, rather than owning our power and moving forward.”
I smile down at my work as a knot on the end of a string finally releases. The string is kinked and shows obvious evidence of having been previously tied, but I know that when I’m done, I can steam the fibers and they will let go. “By Jove, I do believe you are starting to understand in truth!”
I’m having my second QHHT session next week. The last one brought up 2 of the handful of past lives I can recall, but I don’t want to do another session on the same topic. To that end, I’ve been considering other topics to explore.
Apart from a query about plant medicine and how that would work for me, my thoughts turned to the concept of ancestral healing. I had a run-in with this when I was dredging up my family’s gender issues, and another when I working on the family religious issues. Then I started thinking what other ancestral issues are in play that I’m not seeing.
Now one of my many hobbies is genealogy, and I have my family line for every single generation about 8 deep before the first hole appears. A number of my lines even go back to the 1000s, and very few even earlier when they hook into nobility or royalty. Given this deep knowledge of my history, what topics came to mind? Well, my mom’s side has a great deal of heart issues and strokes. This tells me circulatory system, of which the heart is the engine, is likely manifesting some issue – not sure what, but something. Then there’s weight – no one else is my family is fat, except my parents and me. Yay. 😐 That’s got to be something. And there’s a dysfunctional relationship with health, or unhealth, and worthiness of love. Thanks mamaw! :-\ So that’s 3 ancestral issues which I can see, but I’m not sure exactly what they are messages for so exploring this strikes me as the perfect use for my next QHHT session.
As I was pondering this, I suddenly got hit with an idea.
I chose this ancestral line because the themes of power and value running through this family are the same ones that I’ll see running through my past lives. They aren’t actually 2 different things, but correlating elements.
Of course it’s always possible that the some the ‘past lives’ I’ve recalled aren’t actually my own, but instead ancestors with issues I’m equipped to face/heal. Even so, when I think this, none of the past lives have the “flavor” of family, if that makes any sense. It’s always possible, so I’ll keep that door open.
I find it interesting that the word “power” ended up in the opening sentence above. I never thought that one before – only value, ie worth. The big themes in this life are healing old wounds and dealing with my sense of worth. Never really considered that adjacent to worth was power – my own power. To express myself, to BE myself, to open explore ideas without fear of being burned alive in my own house…. heh.
I listen to a wide variety of teachers, but only if they are both positive and grounded. There’s a lot of “positive” which is more “enabling” than anything else, and there’s “positive” which includes instructions to get off my butt. Those teachers in the second group are the ones I’ll give my attention to.
Lee Harris is one of these. I was listening to something he posted somewhere in which he said it was a super easy practice to ask your soul what you most needed to know in this moment. He said it was a quick thing, and didn’t need any particular build up.
I thought, “alright, I can do that.” So I said to myself, “Soul, what do I most need to know right now?” The answer was immediate – “You are loved.”
Woah! Now THAT is not something I’ve ever told myself, so I know that wasn’t “my ego voice” with which I generally carry on all manner of conversations internally. What surprised me most was not necessarily what was conveyed, but rather the immediacy of the answer. Ok. So I started asking that daily, and got the same response for about a week. Then the answer changed, “You are connected.” :-O …
Well alright then. So I decided to take Lee’s next bit of advice – ask my Soul what I should do that day. So this morning, before getting up, I said, “Soul, what should I do today?” The response was again immediate: “Write something.”
Wow. Ok. I can do that. And so here is assignment one. Write something.
I figured sharing my experience with both these exercises would be a good thing to start with:
Ask your Soul/Higher Self/Divine Spark what you most need to know right now.
Ask your Soul/Higher Self/Divine Spark what it recommends I do today.
When asking, do so with the honest intention of hearing/knowing/feeling/seeing the reply – in whatever way your system works best. I tend to hear or see things. Ask in a moment of quiet – even if that is just pausing whatever you are doing for all of 10 seconds. Give some space to the intention. For me, the answer comes in my own voice, but the contents are not my waking mind type of thoughts. The message is also short. Super short. If the answer is long, it’s ego trying to fill up the space. If the answer is short, and it feels positive and expansive, then go with it. Say Thank you, and resume what you were doing.
One of the many spiritually focused podcasts I listen to is Next Level Soul. He has so many great guests that it’s always a good episode and I recommend it often. He recently had on a medium who focuses on pets. Now I’m one of those folks who far more deeply bonds with animals than I do with humans. Like intensely different. Still love the humans in my life, but there’s a … distance(?) to my love for my family and friends that is absent with my animals.
I had a dog growing up that I got when I was 9. She was my first dog and I was supposed to be responsible for her. Of course, I was 9 when she came into my life and I was about as responsible as the average 9 year old. She didn’t get much in the way of formal training, just the basics and even that was spotty. There’s a lot that, as an adult, I wish I’d done differently with her. Trained her more, taken her with me more places, done more with her, etc. When she had stomach cancer and had to be put down at age of 12, things could not have gone more badly. I won’t go into the details but suffice to say I was utterly traumatized and I asked her spirit to not only forgive me, but to give me another chance. That if I had it to do over again, I would do better. And most especially, I would never allow what happened at her death to ever happen again.
Something I literally just thought of as I was typing this. We as a family were deciding on a name for the new puppy. I wanted to name her DeeDee, but was nixed and she became Scruffy. Many years later, I got my first horse. Her name? Dee. And no, I didn’t name her – that was her name when I got her.
Anyway. I had put down Scruffy on Valentine’s Day 1992. I made my request of spirit to give me another chance at this time as well.
It was in the late summer of 1992, I was playing a table top with friends and decided my character needed a war dog. I named it Kresha. I kept having visions of a black dog with typical liver markings like a Doberman would have. As I was contemplating what I wanted for my next dog, I kept waffling between a German Shepherd and a Border Collie. Now comes later mid October of 1992.
I’m getting ready for my day, and as I often do I speak aloud my plans for the day. I’ll do this, then go there, do that, etc. Out of my mouth comes “and go to the pound to get my dog.” *record scratch* What? No, my parents were out of town and I was told expressly not to get a dog while they were gone. Besides, I wanted mom to go with me to make sure I got the right dog for me. Going to the pound, by myself, while the parents were gone? Not gonna happen.
I was even riding with a friend as I went about my errands for the day. The random phrase of ‘go to the pound’ forgotten. While out, I started directing my friend and we ended up on front of the pound. Holy hell! Fine. I was there, I’d look. I wouldn’t go inside though! I went down the outside runs, looking at the dogs. Not sure what I was looking for. I made it all the way to the end and felt relieved because I didn’t see “my dog.” I turned around to go back and made it halfway … and there she was. My dog. Sitting there in the run looking at me, a black and tan like a doberman, but with long hair. I knew, instantly, felt it all up and down my being … this was my dog.
I immediately went inside and found her run. The name on her intake card? Keisha. Her breed? A German Shepherd/Border Collie mix. Her age? 8 months. She was born in late February, of 1992. Only a few weeks after I had to put my Scruffy down.
I knew to the core of me that Scruffy’s soul had chosen to give me the chance at redemption that I had asked for. Whether this was Scruffy’s soul or a different one that Scruffy “recruited” to help me, I have no idea. I like to imagine the former.
I adopted her on the spot, and she came home with me. She went into her first heat the next day. Having tried to volunteer at that shelter in the past, I knew that a female in heat was immediately put down. Going to the pound that day was literally the only chance I had to get her. Had I waited a few more days for my mom to get back so we could go, it would have been too late. I very much thank my soul not only for the direction but the persistence in overriding my ego-self’s intentions to ensure that this soul connection was made.
It certainly was not easy sailing! She was a difficult dog at the beginning, and I was still very inexperienced and young. I almost gave up. Then I decided if I needed help, I should have the courage to get that help. We enrolled in formal training and I learned that first day exactly how strong I could be. I mean, how strong my energy can be. That was the turning point for us. After that, she understood and I learned. She started out with me as a nervous, excitable creature with insecurities for miles including severe aggression toward smaller dogs. It took a few years, but she became a solid, stable, confident, secure, trustworthy companion who couldn’t care less about smaller dogs. We went everywhere together – mountain biking across multiple states, camping, hiking, even ocean kayaking. Off lead. She was soooo smart! A true joy to share my life with.
Many years later, when I got married then divorced, I was working 3 jobs trying to make ends meet and I just didn’t have the energy for much anymore. I had a dream, a warning that there were 2 possible endings she could choose. If I did not choose to spend more time with her, she would take the earlier option. It was up to me. Well, I moved everything around to address that, even coming home at 11 pm and taking her for a long multi-mile walk through the neighborhood, weekend trips to parks, etc. One evening she got out of the yard while I was at work and came home to find her limping around the driveway. She had a broken left upper canine tooth and a giant swelling on the left front part of her body. I immediately took her to the vet. I learned later what we had suspected is indeed what happened – she had been hit by a car. But a glancing blow. There was exit point one. Clearly, I had done enough so that she chose exit point two.
Two years later, while I was away at a cat show, I left her with my then boyfriend. I came home to a story of her not being interested in eating. That was unheard of for this dog! I ran her to the vet and my concerns were dismissed. I learned from that – never let someone dismiss me, esp if my concerns are accompanied by a soul prompting. I haven’t either, which can piss off a vet who wants to dismiss me only to discover “oh shit!”. But at the time, I swallowed things and let the “professionals” corral me. I took her home. Two days later, she’s vomiting almost continuously and unable to walk. Obviously, I take her back. They clearly take me seriously this time and discover she was in full renal failure. Antifreeze poisoning. There’s a short window of treatment, and this was well past it. When I pin them with a snarling stare and demand “Had you taken me seriously when I first came in, could she have been saved?” *blanching* No, given the timeline of events, she got into the antifreeze sometime on Saturday and I came home on Sunday. The window was already closed by then. I could only nod, but I think I made my point.
There was literally only one real option. First up, I made sure they didn’t use that paralyzing drug as their euthanasia medicine. What a torturous one that is! Paralyze the body so you can’t breathe, and then suffocate to death will being fully cognizant. What a nightmare! Fortunately, they used a different thing. I also demanded to be present and was fully ready to get belligerent about it. No need though, this was a different vet.
I stayed with her, thanking her for giving me another chance and that I hoped I was able to give her a good life like she deserved. How much I loved her, and would miss her, but knew she would be ok. She went out as peacefully as was possible.
I kept my promise to her to the best of my ability. She was indoor dog, spending her entire life with me as a true companion. She understood the rules of acceptable behavior and I had many people compliment me on such a well adjusted and easy to work with dog – I semi-joked that she was better behaved than most children. She accompanied me everywhere, across many states, saw me through many boyfriends and even through my first marriage. She was protector, my companion, my friend … my rock. My redemption.
I still cry when I think of her. I never found out how the hell she got into antifreeze.
What I know most of all is that the pets who come into our lives can be great teachers, if we let them be. They can teach us patience, maturity, perseverance, and our limits. They can teach us how to be strong, how to soft, how set boundaries and maintain them, how to be kind, and when we should trust ourselves over trusting others. Everything about that dog, especially how she came into my life, was a marvel of soul orchestration. I think “all time is now”, which means plans can change “now” and play out “now” when years … decades … separate the events. That our lives are “pre-planned”… I think the themes are set and big relationship potentials are set, like the most complex dance ever with more moving pieces and independent decisions which have to be made. But each decision made is a “now” moment that can be accessed at all levels of “now”, so the orchestra can adjust and the dancers are unaware that their steps have had any impact at all.
I keep waiting for another soul prompting that THIS is my dog. Somewhere. Somehow. No such luck yet. I have a cat, whom I adore. We are dealing with a thyroid issue, and I got into the vet lickity split when I noticed a change in behavior. We are working to get the med level right at the moment, and the first round was just too strong. I insisted this with the vet and they kept saying “oh he’s having issues with the method” and I’m saying “no, it’s just too high a dose.” Well I can control how much I’m giving him, so their insistence on their interpretation I can ignore. They ran blood work and I spoke with a different vet the next day, and the tests confirmed exactly what I was saying – too high a dose. The vet said “You obviously really know your cat.” “Yes, yes I do.” Keisha taught me – pay attention, hear the messages my intuition is giving me, and act on them to the best of my ability without allowing them to be compromised. What she helped teach me were life lessons that made me a better person, and are still playing out today.
So I say again to the spirit of this special dog – thank you for giving me another chance, thank you for your patience and your love and your company, thank you for spending your life with me, and thank you for the positive changes that knowing you helped foster in me.
That word is thrown around a whole lot, especially in the circles I tend to be paying attention to. What I have noticed is that it’s either not really defined, or it’s being defined in a narrow band. As a result of that observation, I wanted to explore this topic a bit. Maybe, it will open your heart and allow for entire new perspectives to come into focus.
Probably the biggest meaning that I think of when I hear someone is Awake or has been Awakened, is within a spiritual context. The number of spiritual wisdom paths which describe humanity or this realm of existence as a dream is impressive. I wish I knew all their names, and it would be a research project for a future endeavor if I felt like taking it up. To awaken from the dream essentially means that the individual is now aware that they are more than their body in what is usually a very visceral way. Those who’ve a undergone mystical near death or any sort of out of body experiences know, not believe, KNOW that their consciousness exists beyond the body. I had several experiences along the astral travel lines as well as was granted the brief gift of seeing what we look like beyond the flesh. Even so, I think knowing we are more than our bodies was something I’ve aware of since I was kid. For an example, my first plane flight at 16 was a bit scary, and I started reciting “death is just an altered state of being”. Just popped out – no intention of saying that, just trying to comfort myself.
There are as many types of spiritual awakenings as there are beings on this planet – so I’m using a mighty broad brush and still missing a lot of the canvas. Just consider anything which affects how we view ourselves in relation to the non-physical world as being encompassed within a spiritual interpretation of Awake.
But being Awakened can affect a lot more than just this realm of human experience. How many things do we do which is done without our awareness? We want food, we go to the grocery store – with the choice of which store being the most conscious the average person gets about this. So we can wake up to almost anything – provided we have been unconscious to it previously.
How about waking up to the fear-based manipulation we are being subjected to? Or perhaps waking up to the poisons which make up our “food”? Or perhaps waking up to health realities due to a diagnosis? Or maybe waking up to just how energy blind we really are? Or waking up to false narratives about the causes of climate change and what needs to be done about it? Or waking up to the extent of child pornography and sexual slavery? Or maybe waking up to how many of our “leaders” are working to protect those most vile child abusers? Or maybe waking up to the awareness of foreign police operating under the radar to harass people critical of their regime? Or waking up to the curriculum of some schools? Or waking up to the great new potentials of systems like regenerative farming? Or waking up to the idea that working for money and collecting stuff doesn’t actually make us happy or provide us with meaning?
How many ways are there to wake up? Thousands – both painful and uplifting. But that is the entire point of living a conscious life – stop to consider what ways you might be awake, and in what ways you might still be asleep. Very rare is the person who can say “oh, clearly I’m still asleep over in this area” because in truth we are blind to those areas. I have no idea how many more awakenings I have to go through. Probably tons…
What I do know is that no one can person incarnated in a human body can be awake to EVERYTHING. I can’t carry it all, by any stretch, and it’s not my job. What is my job is to address everything that I’m aware of to the best of my ability with the aim of personal and spiritual expansion for myself and all around me. This will include having to hear things which might be painful.
I was watching a reaction panel to amazing movie “Sound of Freedom” and an irate South American talking about interviewing people who’ve been used as sex slaves in heart shattering ways and how the open borders are facilitating a mad growth in this area. He was irate because he was saying this is happening NOW, not 400 years ago, NOW, and nothing is being done. I was a sobbing mess! I did not WANT to hear that, but I had to. It’s another think to be awake to, and a very important one.
I was listening to a class from Sara Landon. All love and light and great and how marvelous the new Earth will be. Let’s just gloss over all the slogging which will be needed to get there. Do I think we have a “Great Awakening” going on? Yes. Do I think we are moving into an potential for a better world? Yes. Do I think it will be in my lifetime. No. Do I think I can just imagine my way there? Hell no.
There’s a lot of shit which has be moved between here and there, and a lot of unconscious choices have to become conscious ones. Ex: I’m in the process of shutting down my aquarium. I love my 75 gallon planted freshwater tank, but it takes a lot of energy. I was definitely aware of some fish being stolen from native habitat and the devastating effects of this, so I steer clear of those. What I had been blind to was just how much electricity it was using. If I imagine a time where I have to decide “fridge or fishtank?”, guess what’s going to win? I’ll make those choices now, when the transition isn’t catastrophic. There are many such choices I’m making now, and many I’m also aware that I’m putting off.
Being Awakened shouldn’t be a horrific thing, or a glorious wonderful thing. It is, and it means those who are awakened simply have an awareness of things they did not have before. It also means that spirit is saying “there’s work that needs doing here, and to get started on it – first you gotta be able to perceive it.”
How many things have YOU woken up to, especially since 2020? I always laugh when I think of this year. “Hindsight is 2020.” The year in which the entire globe was forced to shut down, and a great many started to look around and rethink things. Hindsight, indeed, is 2020.
This should be a fun one. I’m taking a class with RJ Spina and have the pleasure of working with 40+ other people similar to me in terms of our interest in self-mastery and the pursuit of spiritual growth. What makes this class so interesting to me is noticing the comments of those in the chat. It makes me realize just how different my mindset is. For example, today we had a brief aside about good and bad. RJ was talking about “good” and “bad” as being meaningless words, particularly when you are looking from the higher perspective. Absolutely true. This went on for a while and I finally posted that I tended to see things as either expansive (promoting evolution) or contractive (inhibiting evolution) while noting that both are necessary and have their place. He said this was a great answer. *blush* But to me, this type of thinking is now native. Judgements like good/bad are snapshots of a moment in time from a single perspective. Change the perspective and/or move the timeline, and the judgement is moot. Caroline Myss was the first to state this to me – judgement freezes something into position. The more I’ve sat with this, the more I agree – it’s removing it from the growth process and making it a static thing. It has Been Judged.
It was this discussion that had a thought pop into my head: Woke is a perversion. Now most folks will hear a judgement in that, but it’s not. It’s a description. The moment that description came into my head, the entire thing unraveled and I knew I had to write it down.
Ready for this?
Woke is a perversion. It’s so appealing and pulls people in because it’s wearing the robes of ‘enlightened’ or ‘awake’ thought, but it’s failing utterly to walk the talk. The very name, woke, is itself a perversion of Awakened.
This is the exact phrase that popped into my head. Let’s go through some elements and compare/contrast. Notice, this is not about bad/good – it’s about be aware, and make a conscious choice. After all, the brighter the light the deeper the shadow and without the contrast in this realm the ability to see the difference does not exist. The Woke movement is doing a fantastic job of being the darkness to call attention to light because it’s using the language of awareness. Considering that most people I am aware of who consider themselves Woke are inspired by a genuine desire to serve the highest potential of humanity, this is important. Letting people see the false to embrace the true for themselves is what I’m attempting putting my energy toward.
First up, let’s talk Diversity. DEI is the mantra, after all. For those who are paying attention to not only what is being learned about ecological health but also our own physical health, this state of health literally depends on many working together. IE, diversity. Listen to any permaculture lecture, and biodiversity is a foundational aspect. Listen to any modern farmer who is using genuine organic methods to grow food and it’s all about diversity – not only of plant and insect life but also of animal life. The single greatest contributor to restoring a depleted pasture is the COW – and it’s being horribly maligned with calls to exterminate them … for the good of the planet. *brain explodes* I’ll tell you what makes the cow ‘bad for the planet’ is modern chemical farming: We feed them corn to fatten them up, which they were not meant to digest, so their pissed off digestive system farts excessively. We cram them together in a tiny space so they are standing in mountains of excrement and require antibiotics to keep from getting sick in the short time they are in this hellscape. The resulting manure is so contaminated that it’s just more poison to be disposed of. There is nothing healthy, wholesome, or beneficial in this practice – it certainly isn’t honoring the spirit of one of our longest animal allies!! But in a holistic organic farming practice, where cows are rotation grazed on pastures – not only is their digestive system happy and so doesn’t fart any where NEAR as much methane, but their moving through the fields builds soil health in every metric used. Herds of millions of buffalo built a topsoil richness up to to 6ft deep in the midwest!(Most topsoil was measured in inches, not feet – for reference.) And don’t get me started on the BS of lab grown meat – grown from cancer cells, no less. What an insult to the natural world, to the planet! Diversity is about bringing in as much uniqueness as possible so allow for a whole and healthy system – this includes both predator and prey, expansive and contractive elements. Humanity is learning that the absence of specific gut microbes means that type of cancer, or that disease, etc. Like the world we live in, our bodies themselves require a diversity of microbes. We are even learning that some things we call ‘parasites’ are not – they only become parasites when the system is off balance. So I see Woke spouting off about Diversity, while demanding we kill all the cows and eat lab grown meat – spouting off about Diversity while telling anyone who doesn’t 100% agree with them to shut up – spouting off about Diversity while erecting rigid barriers and demanding that either these barriers be adhered to or you need to psychically torture yourself to adhere to the side they think you should be on – spouting off about Diversity while maligning and erasing anyone they don’t want to look at. And heaven forfend if anyone within the boundaries starts to disagree – immediate expulsion from the ranks. What about any of this is genuinely diverse? It’s a lie. A pretty buzzword with no follow through. When someone is genuinely Awake, at the very least, there is an understanding that different (diverse) modes of thinking are valuable. The genuinely Awake aren’t likely to consider themselves one side or the other, but recognize all sides have value and they themselves are willing to at least listen without denigrating or maligning others.
I’ve already talked about the E – Equity – and why that’s a lie as espoused in it’s current form. The genuinely Awake will recognize that it’s not our material stuff which gives us value, but rather what we do with what we have. Do you share? Do you help others attain what they need to thrive? What is the definition of ‘thrive’?
Let’s take a look at Inclusion. This is an interesting one, because – like Equity – it’s built on an old idea – Exclusion. In the case of Woke, Exclusion is the order of the day. The very focus on “the community” (take your pick as to which one that refers to) is in itself an exclusionary statement. It’s an us/them paradigm. The Awakened recognize there is only Us, that the divisions which seem apparent are actually illusions. Nationality, race, religion, sex, etc are all useful tools, and each afford unique perspectives and experiences…. heeeey, almost like genuine diversity is built right into Humanity itself. Fancy that. As above, so below. lol. And, as mentioned above in the Diversity section, there is a very strong need for the Woke to ensure that only those who are part of the cult are recognized – inherently excluding all others. How many people report that the moment they raise a critical thought, the backlash is immediate? Only the approved ideas are allowed to be included. That’s not genuine Inclusion, just as it wasn’t genuine Diversity.
Alright. So I covered those 3 tenets and why I think the Woke manifestation is a perversion of each. The biggest element of Woke is this desire to make humanity better, which I can totally be onboard with the desire to help humanity rise to their potential. But as has been stated by much better Thinkers than I, positive change is never created through negative means. In other words, you don’t get peace by hating war. I see the Woke movement hating everything, LOOKING for injustice and finding it everywhere. That seems to me to be the wrong approach from the foundation.
Judgement is the single biggest word I can think of to describe the Woke mentality in general. Intolerant is a part of that judgement approach, as is the smug self-righteousness that knows it has all the answers and doesn’t need to listen to anything else but itself. There is nothing Awakened in this. Indeed, it’s a complete perversion of what it means to be Awakened. Fortunately, Awakening can hit anyone – even the Woke. It’s not about being “wrong” – because I like the spirit that has so many thinking Woke is great (the desire to help). But Woke isn’t about helping, not really. It’s about control, and judgement is a key part of that.
My stepdaughter was considering what major she wanted to take in college. She said she was considering Social Justice, and we were like “what’s that?” This was like 2011 or so. She explained it and my jaw dropped. Nothing about what she described felt ‘good’ – felt expansive to the human condition. It felt contractive, dark, and hateful. She went on to say she received her first assignment, and said “the only thing I can find to protest…” We refused to pay for that degree. Her statement of “the only thing I CAN FIND to protest” told me that everything my emotional/energetic body was conveying to me was accurate. When there is genuine injustice, it jumps up and hits you in the face. You don’t have the go FIND it – although I 100% concede that sometimes injustice is to embedded that one must be willing to see it – usually by being willing to listen to others or by paying attention to how our energy responds to a situation (expands? contracts?). That perspective/knowledge has absolute value. But looking for it everywhere? In everything? All the time? Ofttimes, we see what we want to see – see what we expect to see. I always marveled at police, because they dealt with the worst element of humanity on a daily basis – they often get jaded and depressed, thinking all of humanity is like that. The same thing in my step-daughter’s case – here she was volunteering to train herself to look for and exaggerate the worst stuff she could find, and live there. Every day, all day. That’s not helping humanity. That’s lowering the vibration to live in separation, outrage, and anger. That shit will kill you. Being Poly Anna is likewise not helpful. The truly Awake can take in both the Dark and the Light, and this is important. They bring Light into the Darkness – how? By loving the Dark. Not reveling in the Dark, not excusing the Dark, not being permissive with the Dark. By recognizing “Darkness, you have served our journey by calling attention to this thing. It is no longer needed, and I will work to release you.” As I talked about in a recent post where I mentioned the child trafficking stuff. I will not end anything by hating it – I will love the other end of the spectrum.
Where your energy goes, that thing grows.
Hate (insert item of choice)? When you see it EVERYWHERE, and only ever see it, guess what’s getting your attention? Guess what’s growing? Where will that perspective go, where will it take me? If all I ever look at is the thing I hate, there is no positive vision for the future. There’s nothing better that I’m looking at – all I see is hate. It will consume me and as such I will not add positive energy to the trajectory of humanity. I hear some people in their righteousness and all I can think is “aren’t you tired??”
I will instead lend my energy to the positive vision for the end result – a world in which individual character matters more than our surface appearance, our contribution to the well-being and growth of those around us matters more than collecting stuff, where children can grow to adulthood in safety so they connect with who they were meant to be, and a world where humanity recognizes how we fit in with the natural world in which we live so we can compliment it best. A world in which humanity becomes the best steward possible – for itself, the planet, and all things we touch.
Path of the Individual 